But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life.
John 4:14
Living Water
Living water flows invisible Through the temple of the Lord Washing all who enter with pure hearts Clean in the blood of the Lamb Refreshed and renewed In holy covenants Made with open eyes Hands cupped to receive The living Word of God
I found a buyer for my house four days after I returned to Long Island and set about giving away everything that wouldn’t fit in a bedroom at April and Ron’s house. My plan was to make Utah the hub of my travels. Returning to the Church hadn’t yet entered my mind.
I wanted to close on the house sale as soon as possible, but the closing was delayed on the buyer’s side and wasn’t expected to take place until sometime in December. Not wanting to wait that long, I left the closing in my attorney’s hands and drove away from my little creek-front house for the last time on the first day of November. As always, I spent a few days with my niece Susan before heading across the country. After arriving in Santaquin on November 7, I started unpacking and organizing my things in my one room. All my worldly goods now fit into a ten-by-eleven bedroom, my car with its rooftop cargo box, and one bin in the garage.
I continued attending church with my family, but I still felt no need for doctrines. Like millions of others, I considered myself “spiritual, but not religious.” I enjoyed the comfort of knowing life was eternal and that a loving intelligence permeated the Universe, and I thought that was enough. I simply felt no need for all the details of religion. Ever the Rebel of the Year, I considered the Church too organized.
That Thanksgiving I thoroughly enjoyed the company of my family. We celebrated the holiday at the home of April’s eldest daughter, her husband, and their four delightfully bright and rambunctious sons. The next day Lynne and I drove to Herriman, about an hour north of Santaquin, to spend a few days with her second daughter, her husband, and their three lively and talented daughters.
At church in Herriman that Sunday, sitting next to Lynne as the Sacrament was prepared, I felt a sudden desire to take the water. I couldn’t take the bread because of my celiac disease. I listened to the words of the Sacrament prayer about always remembering Jesus, and then I whispered to Lynne, “What do I need to do to take the Sacrament? I remember Jesus.” With a joyful smile, Lynne whispered back, “You were baptized.” I took the Sacrament water and another trickle of living water entered my armored heart, warming and softening it toward my Savior.
I wish I had kept a journal during this time, but I didn’t. I don’t know the day I first got down on my knees to pray. I do recall that a few weeks after I started taking the Sacrament water, people who couldn’t tolerate gluten were invited to bring their own gluten-free bread. It was shortly after I began partaking in the full Sacrament that my heart opened wider.
Over the next few months, I read the Book of Mormon, Doctrine and Covenants, and Pearl of Great Price for the first time since my youth. I gradually accepted the reality of sin and began to pray for forgiveness for all of my sins and transgressions while I was away from the Church. I spent a lot of time on my knees, in tears. All my doubts and questions washed away on a flood of living water. I knew the answers would come in God’s own time, and I put my trust in Him.
I began to understand that doctrines and commandments are necessary. They point us to Jesus Christ and His true gospel. They lead us along on our journey of faith, helping us comprehend the true nature of God and what we must do to become like His Son and return to Him.
As I studied and pondered the holy scriptures, I learned to look on repentance not as a punishment, but as a precious gift from a loving Father and Son. It mattered not that my sins were committed in ignorance; I felt moved to repent of them all, large and small. Each one was lifted from my burdened shoulders and blotted out. My dear Savior and His gracious Father welcomed their prodigal daughter home with open arms, washing my soul clean in the redeeming blood of Christ’s infinite atonement.
I began to hear the whisperings of the Holy Spirit and started recording them in a spiritual journal, along with other “things of my soul.” The entry for March 6, 2022, reads: “Met with Bishop Nichols to seek Patriarchal Blessing.” I was very eager to receive that blessing. My appointment with the Stake Patriarch was set for May 1, 2022.
Waiting impatiently for that day to arrive, I went about getting settled in my new home state and delved ever more deeply into the scriptures and teachings of the general authorities of the Church. Everything I learned made me long to enter the Lord’s holy temple to receive my endowment. I thought and read about the temple night and day. On March 23, 2022, I wrote in my “Hear Him” journal:
While driving to Springville to get my Utah driver’s license, I asked God if I was worthy to go to His temple for my endowment. As if to quash all doubt, I heard: “You are worthy. You are worthy. You are worthy.”
—Thank you, Heavenly Father!
The next day I received an astonishing personal revelation out of the blue. A little background is necessary to appreciate the impact this had on me. As I related in the chapter about my first marriage, “John” and I had planned to start our family after he finished law school. I thought I wanted six children, but it turned out I didn’t want them with John. Then I fell in love with David and we started our life together.
David couldn’t have children. He had discovered during his first marriage that he was born with an anomaly that made it impossible. With that possibility precluded, I put the idea of children aside. I didn’t allow myself to think about what a wonderful father David would have been. As for me, I’m sure I would have been a worry-wart of a mother, trying to shield my children from all pain and trouble, an impossible task in this world. Against that backdrop, here is my journal entry for March 24, 2022:
While watching a conference video (“The Personal Journey of a Child of God,” Elder Neil L. Anderson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, April 2021), I was overwhelmed with the conviction that David and I have children in heaven. This filled me with such astonished joy that I paused the video and told Lynne, and wept with joy and gratitude in my sister’s arms.
I need to get to the temple!
—Thank you, Heavenly Father!
Heavenly Father’s plan for my life has a purpose in Him, and I’m sure my childlessness in this life was part of that plan. My Father knows me better than I know myself. He knew children would have absorbed my whole being, as they should. He also knew my eternal companion wouldn’t be able to have children in mortality. When you give your life over to God, every part of His plan works as it was meant to, for your good.
After many revelations about writing this book and others, I received this one on November 29, 2022: “I raised you up in the last days to do this work.” Lest this should lift me up in pride, my Father sent another word a few days later, about my LDS sisters: “They chose the harder part: raising faithful children in a faithless and fallen world.” God knows our strengths and our weaknesses and will use them for His purposes if we will only trust in Him.
As the outpouring of the Spirit continued, I learned the importance of recording those words and impressions, as President Nelson, our dear prophet, has repeatedly urged us to do. I believe writing these things down is second in importance only to obeying the urgings contained in those precious communications from our loving Heavenly Father. As the rest of this book will make clear, countless blessings flow from the simple practice of keeping a spiritual journal and the less simple practice of obeying the promptings you record. This book is the result of promptings recorded in my journals.
On April 1, 2022, during prayer and scripture study, I heard these words: “Go up into the mountain; fast and pray.” I wrote this in my journal and recorded my answer: “I will, Lord. Show me where and when”. A few minutes later I was impressed with part of the answer: “Mount Nebo, after conference.”
I wondered how long after general conference I should go. In early April the campgrounds weren’t open and snow was still a strong possibility. Was I supposed to go on this prayer retreat before or after my patriarchal blessing on May 1? More specific answers came in distinct impressions a few minutes later. I was to go after conference but before my blessing, and I was to go by way of Nephi, a town to the south, rather than Payson, just to the north. I wondered why the Spirit was so specific. I would find out later.
General conference began on Saturday, April 2, 2022, and I took notes on the talks in my “Hear Him” journal, drinking in the rich spiritual feast with my thirsty soul. President Nelson urged us toward spiritual growth on the covenant path, told us to seek and expect miracles, and announced seventeen new temples. As I listened to our dear prophet’s words, I was impressed with this thought and wrote it in my journal: “Temples will be places of refuge in the latter days.”
The following Saturday, April 9, 2022, I wrote the following entry:
Today I read D&C 93 and also discovered Joseph Smith’s “King Follett sermon” about the nature of spirit, God, and man. Extrapolated, it accords with my dream vision of joining with God in the stars, bathed in inexpressible joy and eternal, infinite glory. I pray that I may so live the remainder of my temporal life to be worthy of such grace and glory!
Oh, I so long to go to the temple!
The next day, Sunday, April 10, 2022, I attended my first temple preparatory session. I was on my way to the House of the Lord!
In March I had taken delivery of my new car. It was bigger than the Escape and had higher ground clearance for driving on unpaved roads. In obedience to the Spirit’s promptings, on April 26 I packed my Subaru Outback for an overnight stay in the mountains, drove south to Nephi, and headed up the Nebo Loop, a winding two-lane highway that climbs high into the mountains, paralleling Mount Nebo, the highest mountain in the Wasatch Range.
The road was clear and I found an isolated campsite in the Uinta National Forest with a spectacular view of snow-shrouded Mount Nebo through the trees. Bundled up against the early-spring chill, I set up my camp table and chair and settled in to pray and study the scriptures. Here’s what I recorded in my journal:
Tuesday, April 26, 2:15 p.m.
I’m in the mountains, fasting and praying and studying scripture….
Thank you for bringing me here, Lord. Tell me what you want me to know and do.
“Look up ‘temple.’”
Mountains = Temple in scriptures!
“Day by day”
Does this mean you will tell me day by day what you would have me do?
I pondered and prayed about many things that day. Sometimes answers came and sometimes they didn’t. I prayed for my family and for the gift of forgiveness, and I prayed to know the deeper meaning of my dream vision. Here’s part of that entry:
Later, reading Enoch’s words from the Book of Moses about the endless multitudes of worlds God has created:
Me: Did the 5 suns represent 5 of those worlds, and the explosion of everything into sparkling shards of love and light represent the reality of God’s endless creations, which brim with everlasting joy beyond all human understanding?
Answer: “That is one interpretation.”
Me: Please show me more.
A: “In my good time.”
Me: Yes, I will wait. Thank you, Father!
When it started to get cold, I climbed into my bed in the Outback and read scriptures until I fell asleep. The next morning I packed up my little camp and headed home. I decided I wanted to see the scenery on the northern stretch of the Nebo Loop that ended in Payson, so I started up the mountain instead of going back the way I had come.
I’d gone a few miles when I came to a downhill section of road that was covered in snow. Pausing above it, I considered turning around, but a truck was parked in the only pull-out, so I continued. My Outback had good snow tires and over nine inches of ground clearance, so I was sure I’d be able to get through. I couldn’t tell that the snow in front of me was frozen solid and over two feet deep. I drove about a hundred feet down the hill and got thoroughly stuck. The undercarriage was hung up on the deep, frozen snow.
There was no cell signal in that area. After assessing the situation and trying in vain to dig under the car with my camp shovel, I used my little satellite communicator to email my sister April and ask her to send Triple-A to winch me out. It was no easy operation, and there were a few scary moments when I thought the car might slide sideways down the hill into the trees with me at the wheel.
Finally, I was free and heading back to Santaquin by way of Nephi. Now I knew why the Holy Spirit was so specific about the route I should take. Next time I’ll be sure to pray for guidance before the return trip!
May 1, the day of my patriarchal blessing, finally arrived. The night before, I recorded the following in my journal:
Saturday, April 30, 2022
I prayed for forgiveness for turning away from God and His true Church. My heart was broken, my spirit contrite, and He did forgive me and wash me clean in the blood of the Lamb.
Praise God!
Thank you, Father.
May 1 was fast-and-testimony Sunday. The Spirit impelled me out of my seat to testify of my gratitude to my Heavenly Father and His most gracious Son for leading this prodigal daughter home.
That afternoon I sobbed continuously as our Stake patriarch pronounced blessings over me, blessings of understanding and compassion, discernment and a growing testimony, healing and ministering, and health and strength to do all that is required of me.
Patriarchal blessings are personal, to be shared in detail only with close family, but there is one passage in my blessing that is vital to the genesis of this book, and I feel moved to share that with you. It is this: You have the gift of being mighty in writing. Use this gift to spread your love of the Savior and your testimony to others throughout the world. I believe many, if not all of us, were foreordained to our callings in this life; writing and sharing this book is one of mine.
In the days following my blessing, I got the feeling I should write historical fiction about the mostly unseen women in the Book of Mormon. I became very excited about the idea and started researching in preparation. I even dreamed of the face of one of the characters in a series of books I planned to call “Sariah’s Daughters.”
Meanwhile, as I delved ever more deeply into the scriptures and the teachings of the prophets, seers, and revelators, personal revelation continued to bless me, fueling my deep desire to go to the temple. I could hardly wait for that glorious day and the even more glorious day when David and I would be sealed to each other for all eternity. I was sure David had accepted the true gospel beyond the veil, but it was wonderful to have it confirmed. Here’s that journal entry from June 3, 2022:
Dream from a few nights ago:
David had written and published a small book about photography. We were looking at the first royalty statement, and suddenly David said he wanted to send a Book of Mormon with every order.
I took that to mean my sweet husband has accepted the gospel. As I asked for confirmation, I heard: “Yes. Yes. Yes.”
Thank you, Father! I am overjoyed!
One Sunday around that time, we stood to sing, “I Stand All Amazed” as the rest hymn. When I sang the words, “I tremble to know that for me He was crucified, that for me, a sinner, He suffered, He bled and died,” my whole body shook. My knees went so weak that I had to grab the pew in front of me to keep from collapsing. Tears coursed down my face and my voice cracked and failed as the literal truth of Christ’s astonishing Atonement poured into my heart on a rising flood of living water.
In that moment I fully understood that through His infinite Atonement, Jesus Christ suffered and still suffers with all of us. We are never alone in our sorrows, in our sins, or in our infirmities. Even if we don’t know Him, He is with us, waiting for us to turn to Him. There’s nothing we can go through in this life that He hasn’t experienced. No sin, no grief, no temptation, no guilt. Though He never succumbed to temptation, still He knows and understands our guilt for sin. That perfect understanding applies to all sinners, even the worst among us — even His prodigal sons and daughters.
There in that chapel on that Sabbath day, gratitude overwhelmed me, body and soul, and I knew I could never turn back. I was His, forever. Since that day I’ve come to know that faith is a choice. It’s not something you’re given out of the blue or by the waving of a magic wand. Faith is a way of life that you choose and then build over time by study and prayer, by covenant and obedience. I love this passage in Alma:
Now, as I said concerning faith — that it was not a perfect knowledge — even so it is with my words. Ye cannot know of their surety at first, unto perfection, any more than faith is a perfect knowledge. But behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if you can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that can give place for a portion of my words.
Alma 32:26
I met with the stake president on June 8, 2022. We spoke for nearly two hours, talking deeply of my half-century away from the Church and all that had happened since I returned. Then he signed my temple recommend and my heart soared with joy. All that remained before I could enter the Lord’s house was to coordinate the timing so as many members of my family as possible could share in my great day. We settled on June 28.
A week before my endowment a member of the ward bishopric called and asked me to give a fifteen-minute talk on Sunday, June 26. I was to base my talk on Elder David A. Bednar’s recent general conference address, “But We Heeded Them Not.” I was somewhat surprised to be asked because I’d returned to the Church only a few months before, but I’d had long discussions with our bishop and I knew the bishopric sought inspiration before assigning talks, so I accepted the assignment. If the Lord wanted me to speak to His people, I’d do my best to say something useful and inspiring.
I studied Elder Bednar’s talk and its scriptural basis in Father Lehi’s vision of the Tree of Life and the “great and spacious building” in 1 Nephi 8. The Spirit has impressed me to include the main text of my talk in this book. That text follows.
Grounded in Scripture, Girded with Knowledge
I prayed hard to know what I should say to you today. When I doubted myself, I asked again and these instructions came: “Enlighten and exhort. Rely not on thine own understanding. Lean on my arm.” This is what I have tried to do, and I hope these words are of some value to you.
I was asked to base my talk on Elder David A. Bednar’s general conference address, “But We Heeded Them Not.” I’ve watched dozens of conference talks and this is one of my favorites. I’m going to use Elder Bednar’s talk as a springboard into another aspect of this principle that has been much on my mind since I returned to the church after more than half a century out in the world.
“Heed” is an interesting word. At first glance, its meaning is clear: To heed means to listen, to pay attention to. But the word “heed” also implies acting upon that which is heard.
In Lehi’s vision of the tree of life, those who tasted the fruit and then wandered away not only listened to the jeers and scorn coming from the great and spacious building; they acted in response. They took the voices of derision into their hearts and turned their backs on the good word of God after one taste of the fruit. Whenever I watch the Book of Mormon video depicting this tragic moment, I want to shake those people and shout, “No! Don’t drop the fruit on the ground after one bite! Eat the whole thing!”
Elder Bednar calls our attention to the difference between “clinging” to the rod of iron and “continually holding fast” to it. Those who continually held fast came to the tree and “fell down” before they partook of the fruit. “Holding fast” and “falling down” both seem to imply a greater depth of spiritual feeling and commitment in those who tasted and stayed true to the word. I think they ate the whole thing, seeds and all.
As Elder Bednar states, “The doctrine of Christ written … ‘In the fleshy tables of our hearts’ increases our capacity to ‘heed not’ the many distractions, taunts, and diversions in our fallen world.” And, “Entering into sacred covenants and worthily receiving priesthood ordinances yoke us with and bind us to the Lord Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father.” All these things strengthen us so we can “heed not” the scorn of the world.
Now I’d like to expand on the theme of heeding not, speaking especially to future missionaries, which I hope includes all of the young people here today. But since we are all called to be missionaries, my remarks are addressed to all of us.
In our world today, it’s not only the wicked who cast scorn from the great and spacious building. Standing with them are highly educated people who disdain our beliefs as naive, too good to be true, simplistic, and childish. These people aren’t wicked, merely ignorant and lifted up in the pride of their worldly learning. I should know; I was one of them.
A Heavenly Father who loves us individually and answers prayers? Wishful thinking.
A spirit being who whispers personal revelation in our ears? Get to a psychiatrist, quick!
A God who was once human? Anthropomorphic claptrap.
An Atonement infinite in its scope, washing away all sin for everyone, everywhere, in all of time and space? Beyond belief.
The very concept of sin? Absurd.
And as for the strange doctrine that we can aspire to godhood ourselves, that might elicit only a bemused shake of the head.
Does all this sound hopeless? It’s not. Here I stand as proof. Don’t dismiss people like me as potential converts or returnees to the family of Christ.
Some of these learned scoffers are our own family and friends, fellow students, co-workers, professors, people we long to bring to the true Church. What can we say to them while at the same time “heeding not” their scorn? How can we reach them? If we do manage to engage them in meaningful conversation, how do we arm ourselves against intellectual arguments that might prove to be snares for our faith?
In two revelations the Prophet Joseph received at Kirtland, we find this admonition from the Lord to the gathering saints: “As all have not faith, seek ye diligently and teach one another words of wisdom; yea, seek ye out of the best books words of wisdom, seek learning even by study and also by faith.” This instruction must be of vital importance to appear not once, but twice, in the Doctrine and Covenants, so we’d do well to heed it.
“Seek learning even by study and also by faith.” We can take from this that intellect need not be the enemy of faith. If we ground ourselves in the scriptures and gird ourselves with learning and wisdom from the best books, we will not be moved. We will be fully equipped to help gather Israel in these last days.
“Seek ye diligently…” We can take from this that lazy faith is not acceptable to the Lord. We shouldn’t merely read the scriptures or the “best books.” We are called to study diligently, ponder and pray over them, and never stop learning the good word of God and the wisdom we can find in books written by good men and women of the world.
We need to study the words of the prophets and other church leaders in such inspired works as Ted R. Callister’s The Infinite Atonement, Boyd K. Packer’s The Holy Temple, and Understanding Isaiah, by Donald W. Parry, Jay A. Parry and Tina M. Peterson. Diligent study of books such as these and many more will pay off a hundred-fold in increased knowledge and strengthened faith. Quotes from each of these give hints of their value.
From The Infinite Atonement:
“If the totality of human suffering and anxiety could be categorized, it might be broken down as follows: first, suffering caused by sin; second, suffering that flows from innocent transgression of law; third, suffering related to infirmities, weaknesses, inadequacies, or trials that have nothing to do with sin and transgression; fourth, suffering incidental to our confrontation with the temptations of the world; and fifth, suffering or anxiety necessitated by the exercise of faith. The scriptures are replete with evidence that the Savior did not exempt himself from any of these, but rather faced them ‘square on.’”
From The Holy Temple:
“We frequently talk in the church of the light of revelation, the light of inspiration, the light of the gospel, the light of truth, the light of testimony, the inner light; all in an effort to use something we know—physical light and darkness—to stand symbolically for spiritual things that are otherwise difficult to describe. The light of the temple fits well into such manner of teaching. Although the temple is but a building framed up of the same materials used to build other buildings, it is not the same. It is separated from all of the others by the intensity of the light of which we have been speaking.”
And this, from Understanding Isaiah:
“Isaiah’s wife is called ‘prophetess’ in Isaiah’s record (8:3), suggesting that she too had the gift of revelation. Isaiah and his wife had at least two sons who served as signs to Israel, as did Isaiah and his wife themselves. … Isaiah stood as a type of God the Father; the prophetess was a type of Mary, the mother of Christ; and one of their sons was a type of Jesus Christ.”
Only seeking out and diligently studying the best books will reward us with such richness of understanding.
But the “best books” aren’t limited to those written by leaders of the church. There are many worthy volumes on ancient and recent history, philosophy, art, world religions, mythology, other cultures, geography, psychology, science — all the subjects that go with an education in the liberal arts. That seems to be an old-fashioned concept these days, and that’s a shame. A broad education makes our lives so much richer!
Just yesterday a new book popped up in my notifications. It’s called, Out of the Best Books: Eternal Truths from Classic Literature. I don’t think the timing of this was coincidental. Reading great literature is essential to a good education and this new book by S. Michael Wilcox contains life-enhancing words from such timeless classics as To Kill a Mockingbird, A Christmas Carol, Les Miserables, and Anne of Green Gables, along with the parables of Jesus and passages by Ralph Waldo Emerson and others. With a subscription to Deseret Bookshelf Plus, you can download the ebook, and countless others, for no additional cost. But don’t stop with snippets. Once you’ve dipped in your toe, go on and read the whole thing!
But more to the present point, without knowledge of ancient history and mythology, how will we answer the learned man who says myths of virgin births and dying and rising gods were common in the ancient world, so what makes Jesus special? If we’re well prepared with broad knowledge, we can suggest that those myths were but types of Jesus Christ, foreshadowing him from the beginning of human history.
When the learned see that we have knowledge of many things, that we’re not the religious robots they expected, they just might be willing to listen for a little longer, pay a little more heed to our message.
Yes, there comes a point when faith is the only answer, the only thing that will lead to conversion. But faith first requires an open heart, and an open heart often requires an open mind. This is where learned argument, or even a hint of a new way to look at some thorny problem or weighty matter, might find its way in and turn the learned mind toward truth, thereby opening a crack in an armored heart, a crack just wide enough to admit a trickle of living water. Over time, that trickle can become a cleansing flood, washing away all doubt.
And let me tell you this: Once a learned and inquiring mind catches onto the Good Word of God, it will never let go. You will have made a convert who will become a beacon of light in dark times, drawing others to the gospel.
But in order to accomplish great things in the mission field, we mustn’t merely nibble at the fruit of the Tree of Life, and we can’t merely taste the scriptures and the “best books.” We have to eat the whole thing. We have to feast on the words, devour them whole, seeds and all.
In closing, I’d like to share with you words that came to me in prayer:
I address my final remarks especially to you young people who will one day go on missions: Start learning now and never stop. In your comfort zone here in Utah, where most of those you encounter are of your faith, you may never be challenged, or if you are, you can simply pull the faith card and not engage. But out in the world, you will encounter learned arguments against the gospel and even against God. You must be prepared to answer those challenges with strength and the knowledge you can only gain from diligently studying, pondering, and praying over the scriptures and the “best books.”
I testify that diligence in these things will repay you a hundred-fold in an outpouring of personal revelation that will make you a bulwark against doubt.
I know I am repeating some of what you will learn in missionary training, but these words came to me on my knees, so I exhort you to remember this: These last days are a battle for souls. Do not go into the world without the additional armor of knowledge from the best books.
I had intended to end my talk there, but late last night, half an hour past my bedtime on a night when I really needed my sleep, I was still studying The Infinite Atonement when I came across a reference to Doctrine and Covenants 130, verse seven. As is my habit, I looked up the scripture and found it so fascinating that I continued reading until I came to verses 18 and 19. Now, Doctrine and Covenants 130 is a compilation of brief revelations, and here the subject shifted from God’s time to one of such relevance that I knew I had been led there.
Here are those verses:
“Whatever principle of intelligence we attain unto in this life, it will rise with us in the resurrection. And if a person gains more knowledge and intelligence in this life through his diligence and obedience than another, he will have so much the advantage in the world to come.”
In the sacred name of Jesus Christ, amen.
The Holy Spirit bore me up as I spoke and the talk was well-received. If we offer ourselves to God, He will use us for a wise purpose in Him. We need only get out of His way and let him work through us.
Recently I received detailed instructions on how my Father wants me to study the scriptures. I’d been reading and pondering the Book of Mormon every night since I came back to the Church and was on my sixth reading, this time with a set of commentaries by Church scholars. Here’s the personal revelation I received on March 27, 2023:
A: “Include Doctrine and Covenants in your nightly study. Speed does not matter; understanding is the key to progress.”
—Yes, I see! Thank you, Father!
A: “As you study, seek the Holy Spirit’s wisdom in all things. Lean not on the arm of flesh. I will reveal these things to you. Study by topics. Start with pride and humility.”
Q: Do you mean I should not use commentaries?
A: “Yes, Daughter. Trust me to reveal all things to you in my way and time. Study diligently, ponder, and pray. Riches of understanding will be yours. Write down your insights in regard to scripture in the larger book.”
—I will! Thank you, Father!
A: “I am shaping you into a more useful servant for my work. Prepare with all diligence.”
The “larger book” is a large-format journal I accidentally ordered instead of the smaller ones I use for my “Hear Him” journals. Clearly, that purchase wasn’t a mistake. All things work according to His plan.
You’ll note that these instructions came only after I had read the scriptures several times, sometimes with commentaries. Commentaries can be useful in broadening and deepening your understanding, but they should never become a substitute for diligently studying, pondering, praying, and listening for the wisdom of the Holy Spirit. I’ve found that studying the scriptures in this way has not only increased my comprehension of their meaning for my life but also yielded precious insights and personal revelations.
Memoirs of a Prodigal Daughter 